I leave Destruction In My Wake...

In case anyone was not aware, Benicio is in his "destruction phase". If something's on the table, it is coming off. Mommy got a new lamp, it's crashing to the floor. Daddy's 4-foot bong that he smuggled from the Netherlands...err...I mean, Daddy's croquet set...yeah, croquet set.

Anyways, you get the idea. He has become an in-house wrecking ball and my pad which was once nice and tidy (in my opinion, just don't ask my mom) is now a sloppy mess. He eats DVD's...literally, the dude opens the case and chows down on the classics like: The Outsiders and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (very underrated flick, by he way). There is no mine anymore, it's all his. And you know what? It's cool. This kid could break one of my prized possessions and I wouldn't even hit him that hard...He's already gone through 2 channel changers (his Mom says it wasn't him but I think she's covering up for the guy - they tight that way).
So my point is...Don't have kids unless you enjoy watching DVD's with slobber and bite marks on them. Actually, my real point is that this little guy could do anything and I will always forgive him. Be sure to remind me of this when I'm going to visit with his Assistant Principal about Benicio ditching school for the fifteenth time during a semester. This sounds like a great time to go into a new segment on BeniciosDaddy.Blogspot.Com, RE-ENACTMENT (or Pre-Enactment, in this case)!!!

Assistant Principal: Mr. Daddy, do you know that Benicio has been absent 5 times in the past two weeks. And one of his teachers found a joint on his person.

BeniciosDaddy: Mr. Jackhoff, I assure you that our family does not condone this type of behavior. In fact, I'm wondering if he got this way going to your school. He is supposed to be learning in this place, isn't he?

AP: (stunned look on face)

BD: Well, what do you have to say for yourself Jackhoff! You mean to tell me that my son is being deprived of an education because of your lack of control over this here institution....

AP: Mr. Daddy...uhhh..I can fully explain...

BD: (In my best Cameron from Ferris Buehler voice) Call me sir, Goddamnit!

And...scene!

Parenting at its finest folks...parenting at its finest.